I want to walk on stilts...naked
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
