There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
