I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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