I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
