So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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