Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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