first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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