Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
