More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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