ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
