In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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