My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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