This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
