Dual....:-)
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
