Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
