The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
