i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
