I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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