You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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