I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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