Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
