Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
