talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
