i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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