either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
