I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
