You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
