Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
