Me. At least after what I've been through.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
