just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
