I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A+ Viking dick
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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