There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
