I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
