either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i think i have herpe
just one?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
