I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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