Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
