I cannot find my penis.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
