If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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