Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
