the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
