i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
