i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
