If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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