this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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