Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
