i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
