I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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