She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my poor anus
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
