chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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