I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
